So sometimes therapy is about timing. I posted about the role of father's in girls lives and the value they have to developing self esteem and expectations about romantic relationships. The post was based on a wonderful young woman and her absent father. It was based on the story she told of how she tolerated crap relationships from men because there was no role model in her life for what she should be able to expect.
An hour later I was able to reflect on that client and use her story for another. A man in his thirties walked in accompanied by his partner and father. He explained that he had spent many years recovering. he had been a poly drug user, using anything that came his way including a nasty heroin addiction. He developed a drug induced psychosis and has been traumatised for life. He stopped trusting himself after recovering from searching the roof for the cameras "they" had placed in there. He has used methadone to manage his addictions for years.
For some time now (we are talking years) he has been employed and has managed to provide for a family. The family includes an eight year old daughter, a partner and step children. He has become "respectable." He has become a traditional bread winner. Until the GFC came around and he lost his job. Suddenly he has lost his role, feels useless and worthless and has become suicidal. Really seriously suicidal.
I was able to describe in details the girl who had left only an hour before. I could describe her father's role and how important he was - regardless of how much he earned or where he worked. She just wanted him with her to love her. To teach her how to be loved as an adult and what she should expect from men who claim to love her.
Together, they both brought me to tears (again).
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