so we have a convicted child porn watcher. he is fairly true to type. He is middle aged, unmarried, lonely. He is ineffectual and unable to maintain normal romantic attachments. Not because he is particularly repulsive, just because he hasn't quite sharpened the skills necessary. He developed a bit of an OCD quality to his computer and internet use. At one stage making sure he had every image or page of a particular topic "covered" and then another topic. One month it was Australian warships, the next it was organic gardening. I'm not kidding.
SO then it was pornography. This time it was "the worst possible thing" he could look at. In some ways he continued to look at it to make sure he was still horrified by it. A bit like poking a tooth decay hole to make sure it still hurts. He handed over his credit car details and purchased images.
Needless to say he was eventually tracked down and sent to me for treatment. We needed to deal the sexual interest of course, with social isolation, with alcohol abuse. We also needed to deal with the guilt he felt. He was completely wracked by it because his activity was , by definition, "the worst possible thing" he could look at. That why he did it. Weird concept to get your head around, I know.
One very important part of treatment was identifying the guilt and doing something about it. As it was it was just contributing to self loathing and more drinking. we looked at the idea of making restitution. Of "balancing out the universe" and doing something good for others that no one else knows about. He loved the idea. He felt some relief. We settled on anonymous blood giving to the blood bank. He could do something good that no-one need know anything about, to balance the anonymous bad stuff that no-one should have known anything about. Kind of neat solution?
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