So much joy and satisfaction in adulthood is learned in childhood. We must learn to love knitting, to value art, to enjoy cooking to appreciate travel to wonder at a sunset, to value fitness. It all comes from what we learn. We use these skills and enjoyment and activities when happy but also when we need to sooth hurts. When sad we need to reach for activities that make us feel better. We have a bath, walk on the beach, go fishing, replace a brake lining, listen to music or write in a journal.
What happens when we spend the first fifteen years of our lives spending weekends in the car park of the local pub? What happens when we spend weekend after weekend watching mum and dad get drunk and then fight? They are busy with their own lives not even looking at the children they are raising. When no one teaches us to knit, to fish, to listen to music to cook? When we have no time for learning the skills and tasks that give meaning to life.
Our practice is filled with adults who never learned these meaningful activities. Their lives, as children. were barren. They spent their days following their parents from car park to car park, from club to club. When asked what they love to do, what they do when they need self care, they are unable to offer anything beyond substances and maybe a PlayStation. No one ever stood with them and spoke of the joy of a sunset, or taught them how to plant a tree, to write down worries or to sing a song. There are people, plenty of them, who cant do the basics. People who cant identify anything they do that gives them pleasure. They cant identify goals or pleasures because they dont know, they have never experienced them. They can't make themselves feel better, they resort to drugs and alcohol, they are very often depressed. Now that is real poverty.
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