You are probably aware of the many difficult people in your life. From your stubborn boss, procrastinating coworker, angry child, intrusive step-parents, or hurtful spouse, these individuals can ruin your sanity. They make you miserable.
I am about to share with you four mistakes you must avoid to deal with a difficult person. Too often people use these tips to change a difficult person, but matters only get worse. Adhere to these tips, otherwise you could be making people more difficult:
1. Sending solutions. Common phrases that indicate solving include: "What if you..." "Stop doing... and start.." and "Why don't you..."
Telling people what to do does not work. Solutions are so often the problem. You cannot tell people what they must do because they will have no commitment to change. The more you push solutions on people, the more they pull away from you and your suggestion. Real solutions, commitment, and desire for change come from participation.
2. Moralizing. Common phrases that indicate moralizing include: "You should...." "It would be good for you to..." and "Stop doing wrong..." Moralizing is similar to sending solutions because it suggests what the person should be doing. Moralizing uses what is right and wrong, good and bad, black and white to further your logic. Manipulation from guilt and other emotions that arise from moral words do not change difficult people - yet alone anyone.
3. Complaints. "I wish Bill wasn't so damn annoying." Bickering is mental masturbation. Creation comes from being proactive.
If you complain, you are the difficult person. You become no better than the person you try to change through your complaints. Do not reciprocate someone's difficulties. It is your responsibility to treat people with respect.
4. Criticism. People criticize to build change. "I'm results-focused. I criticize people to get things done." Similar lines of thinking drive the 12 communication barriers (criticism, labeling, diagnosing, praise, orders, threats, questions, moralizing, advice, reason, reassurance, and deflecting).
Avoid criticism because it is not charismatic persuasion. Criticism intensifies conflict. Criticized individuals feel diminished, unworthy, and less important.
Learn to listen to the difficult person and let them express their point of view. It will help you understand more about why they are difficult and this tip alone can be enough to deal with the person.
Follow the above tips to deal with difficult people and be sure to avoid the top four mistakes, and the next time you face a stubborn employee, angry child, or cold-hearted individual, you can keep your sanity in tact and even change the person.
You are probably aware of the many difficult people in your life. From your stubborn boss, procrastinating coworker, angry child, intrusive step parents, or hurtful spouse, these individuals can ruin your sanity. So often people make the four mistakes I'll share with you in this article to change a difficult person, but they only cause the person to become more difficult. Read on to learn more.
Joshua Uebergang is a world-leading communication and people skills coach. He has written for you a free guide available for download right now called "Principles and Tips to Deal With Difficult People" openly available on his site. Simply visit TowerOfPower.com.au to grab your guide with no strings attached.
Article Source: http://www.positivearticles.com. PositiveArticles.Com does not vouch for or necessarily endorse the contents of this article.
I am about to share with you four mistakes you must avoid to deal with a difficult person. Too often people use these tips to change a difficult person, but matters only get worse. Adhere to these tips, otherwise you could be making people more difficult:
1. Sending solutions. Common phrases that indicate solving include: "What if you..." "Stop doing... and start.." and "Why don't you..."
Telling people what to do does not work. Solutions are so often the problem. You cannot tell people what they must do because they will have no commitment to change. The more you push solutions on people, the more they pull away from you and your suggestion. Real solutions, commitment, and desire for change come from participation.
2. Moralizing. Common phrases that indicate moralizing include: "You should...." "It would be good for you to..." and "Stop doing wrong..." Moralizing is similar to sending solutions because it suggests what the person should be doing. Moralizing uses what is right and wrong, good and bad, black and white to further your logic. Manipulation from guilt and other emotions that arise from moral words do not change difficult people - yet alone anyone.
3. Complaints. "I wish Bill wasn't so damn annoying." Bickering is mental masturbation. Creation comes from being proactive.
If you complain, you are the difficult person. You become no better than the person you try to change through your complaints. Do not reciprocate someone's difficulties. It is your responsibility to treat people with respect.
4. Criticism. People criticize to build change. "I'm results-focused. I criticize people to get things done." Similar lines of thinking drive the 12 communication barriers (criticism, labeling, diagnosing, praise, orders, threats, questions, moralizing, advice, reason, reassurance, and deflecting).
Avoid criticism because it is not charismatic persuasion. Criticism intensifies conflict. Criticized individuals feel diminished, unworthy, and less important.
Learn to listen to the difficult person and let them express their point of view. It will help you understand more about why they are difficult and this tip alone can be enough to deal with the person.
Follow the above tips to deal with difficult people and be sure to avoid the top four mistakes, and the next time you face a stubborn employee, angry child, or cold-hearted individual, you can keep your sanity in tact and even change the person.
You are probably aware of the many difficult people in your life. From your stubborn boss, procrastinating coworker, angry child, intrusive step parents, or hurtful spouse, these individuals can ruin your sanity. So often people make the four mistakes I'll share with you in this article to change a difficult person, but they only cause the person to become more difficult. Read on to learn more.
Joshua Uebergang is a world-leading communication and people skills coach. He has written for you a free guide available for download right now called "Principles and Tips to Deal With Difficult People" openly available on his site. Simply visit TowerOfPower.com.au to grab your guide with no strings attached.
Article Source: http://www.positivearticles.com. PositiveArticles.Com does not vouch for or necessarily endorse the contents of this article.
