Psychology Self-Help | Self Help

This blog may not end up being a blog about self-help, but more an exploration of stress in myself.

I've been thinking about stress, anxiety and worry a lot these past couple of weeks. I've been feeling stressed because of wanting so badly to do well at a new job, where there is a high learning curve. This is getting better, but I am still in my 'must conquer' mode, where I am doing everything I can to learn as quickly as I can. This is causing me stress, but it's stress I'm putting on myself--and, to be fair, stress I'm glad to have.

I've been stressed about finances and my inter-personal relationships, stressed about the holidays coming up, and trying to figure out how to buy nice things for people very inexpensively. I've been worried about my best friend and how she's doing, and my other friends that I haven't talked to in a while. I am stressed because I need to reach out to people in my life, and keep in better contact with those friendships and family relationships I have, but haven't yet.

I feel the stress in my shoulders, neck and head. I read this article about how stress affects the body, and I feel like I need to learn how to lower my stress without compromising any parts of my life that I need and care about.

I've been getting a bit more exercise, taking long baths, and took half a day yesterday just to read a funny book. All of this stuff helps a bit, but the problem isn't how to put a band-aid on stress, it's about how to manage it better.

The article talks about the three reactions we have to stress - fight/flight/ or Surrender/Submit. I do all of these things, and would like to understand how not to. No matter how much I read about it, it still never seems like I'm actually accomplishing my end goal, which is simply, to take things in stride and not worry so much.

I love to laugh, and laughter is a great easer of stress. But not every situation is a time that can be turned into humor. I have only recently been letting my own inner humor come out to the surface to be shared with others, and some attempts have been very successful, while others haven't.

I've been hesitating writing this blog, because I know that I am judged by what I write, which adds more stress to something that was just supposed to be a way to help others in a way that was non-intrusive. I believe that if something that you do 'for fun' adds unwelcome stress to your life, that maybe it's time to stop doing it. I am thinking about ending this blog for these reasons, but I don't know yet.

I love to write, and I want very much to help others... and if I'm able to share my experiences and thoughts and it helps someone else, than I am happy to keep doing this. It's important to me to add value to the world, in the small ways that I am able.

This week, for me, will be an exploration into stress and anxiety. What my triggers are, and what I can do to ease it.

Stress is a useful tool, in that the stress is supposed to lead you forward into accomplishing something you need to accomplish. It is supposed to leave once you accomplish your task. But what do you do when you accomplish one task, and there is another one immediately after that also requires immediate attention?

I don't believe that I am the only person who deals with stress or anxiety and is looking for a cure. If I learn anything from myself this week, I'll be sure to post it for all of you too. :)

All best,

Rose

It's getting close to the holidays, and this is a really big emotional time for a lot of people. Some get profoundly depressed, while others get very excited. For some people, this is the only time of year that people see their families. For others, it means a lot of work for no appreciation.

The media makes it a happy time, but it isn't for most people I know. People drum up false enthusiasm because they feel like they are supposed to. It seems to me that it's easy to feel disappointed in the holidays, partly because, for many, they would like them to look different.

Parents of children, whether young or teenagers, work to make this an especially wonderful time of year for children, who are really the heart of the holidays. Giving gifts to children and watching their joy, is one of the most fulfilling things about this holiday.

I enjoy finding gifts for people, and do my best to get them something they will actually enjoy. It's hard when you've put a lot of effort into thinking of a gift for someone, and they are not happy with it, but really, all you can do is try.

I don't think anyone should force themselves to be enthusiastic. In my opinion, it makes people more miserable in the long run. Yes, you may have to drum up enthusiasm for other people on the day of, but if you're not feeling it, I don't think you should have to fake it before then.

Personally, I'm actually really excited about the holiday this year. Although I wish I could do more, it'll be my first Christmas with my sweetie's family, all of whom are really great people. But holidays haven't always given me something to look forward to, and I know how tough these holidays can be for people--and how many breakdowns occur for people during this month. Hang in there. There are many of us out here who understand.

Best wishes,

Rose

Up to 25 percent of all children contend with the emotional pain of facial tics. This problem can most accurately be explained as a repetitive, continual spasm that affects the muscles of both the eyes and the face. The true cause is frequently unclear, but research has demonstrated a strong link between stressors and an increase in the evidence of symptoms.

Another explanation for the development of tics is deficiencies in essential vitamins or minerals, such as magnesium. In some cases, facial tics are symptoms of disorders of the nervous system, including Tourette syndrome, a health condition resulting from a malfunction of the nervous system. Tourette syndrome is thought to have a hereditary facet as well.

A few examples of a facial tic are rapid eye movements or eye blinking, squinting, mouth or nose wrinkling, twitching, grunting, mouth twitches, facial grimacing, facial twitches, and throat clearing. A tic often starts early in an individual’s physical development, and can last for only weeks, months, or even years. In some cases, the condition persists into adulthood.

Facial tics can persist and increase anxious disorders in a child already experiencing significant stress because of the condition itself. Children’s playmates are often extremely cruel, making fun of the child’s problem. Further, teachers who fail to understand and fail to help other students to understand and assist the child in conquering his problem can can create a devastatingly negative impact on a child’s self-esteem.

This issue, however, is not limited to the affected child. Adults who find themselves dealing with a facial tic find this extremely difficult to manage. These individuals often struggle with significant social difficulties. In some situations, a person can develop the ability to recognize the onset and control the impulse that results in the facial tic. Even this, however, can result in intense emotional and physical energy drains. Low self-esteem is often a major issue with which these people wrestle. Often, these individuals struggle with low self-esteem.

Adults who experience cessation of the humiliating effects of facial grimaces and other tics are afforded with an opportunity for social rebirth. Their view of themselves is altered, and they no longer are afraid to experience the fullness of life. Youths who overcome the effects of this disorder can be freed from the agonizing stress that impairs their social lives, and live with joy instead of emotional pain.

Sometimes, medications, such as mildly sedating drugs, can help treat this condition. While the medications may decrease the appearance of these symptoms, the medications themselves can often cause undesired side effects. For this reason, individuals frequently turn alternative therapies to help them in treating their condition.

Two treatment approaches that have offered exciting potential in helping persons to control facial tics are hypnosis and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). These therapies capitalize on the strengths of the individual’s unconscious mind to assist them manage the repetitive behavior. Because these therapies address the source of the difficulty through intervening in the unconscious where the problem originates, they are significantly more beneficial than traditional therapy approaches that just attempt to control eye blinking, mouth twitches, squinting, facial grimacing, facial twitches, grunting, or other types of impulsive behavior.

Hypnotherapy allows the person being treated to enter a peaceful trancelike state and accept suggestions that assist them to expel stress. Because tics are a result of suppressed tension within a person’s body, expelling this tension enables them to successfully control the spasm. After several sessions, the client ought to be capable of experience the ability to cope with tension successfully.

Those therapists who employ NLP assist the client to train his or her mind to use thoughts that stress them as triggers for thoughts that will relax them. Furthermore, the individual learns to use an unrelated part of the body, like a toe, to re-channel the tension that would in other circumstances be expressed by the facial tic. Through the use of this technique allows individuals to overcome tension without resorting to the humiliating impulse.

Another positive outcome of these two therapies is that the client is not subjected to adverse effects from medication type therapies. For this reason, both hypnosis and NLP are usually considered to be the treatment of choice for individuals who suffer from tics, such as nose wrinkling, or throat clearing, because these interventions do not have unwanted side effects. This avoids significant anguish and stress for the affected person.

Summary: Facial tics are often socially destructive and may yield serious consequences. Boys are most likely to experience this difficulty, which can persist into adulthood; however girls may also experience difficulties with tics. Although several treatment methods are available, hypnosis and NLP appear to be the safest methods, because they have no undesirable side effects and are very effective.

Up to 25 percent of all children suffer from the embarrassing annoyance of facial tics, which can still be evident into adulthood. The exact cause is undefined, even though medical research shows a strong link between stressors and an increase in the evidence of symptoms. This discussion examines the available treatments, as well as their advantages and weaknesses.

By: Alan B. Densky, CH

Many people tend to use the terms stress and anxiety interchangeably, but they are in fact two separate conditions. Stress is a reaction to a stimulus, which can be internal or external. You may feel stress because you are frustrated with something (like waiting in line behind a slow person) or when you worry that you won't meet expectations (such as missing a deadline at work).

Anxiety, on the other hand, is a feeling of nervousness and fear or even dread. It can be caused by negative expectations and thoughts, or as a response to stress. You may feel anxious virtually all of the time and not understand why, or your feelings may be a response to something you are nervous about, like an upcoming journey.

Abnormal levels of certain neurotransmitters in the brain may cause generalized anxiety. Some research shows that anxiety can be brought on by genetics. Anxiety may also be induced environmentally, as when the child of a parent who is often anxious becomes an anxious person by observing the parent. But very often the root cause of anxiety is simply the thoughts that a person is thinking!

Stress and anxiety are subjective conditions. Different people may experience stress during different situations, and different people may respond to their anxiousness in extremely different ways. Symptoms of anxiety can range from the mild, such as sweaty hands and tense muscles, to the severe, such as anxiety attacks, vomiting, and irregular heartbeat.

Everyone experiences feelings of anxiety from time to time. We have all experienced the dry mouth and vague sense of dread before an exam or public speaking engagement. But when does it become harmful to your health? Research has revealed that chronic anxiety can make us vulnerable to sleep disorders, depression, relationship problems, and high blood pressure

For sufferers of chronic untreated anxiety, there can be detrimental health consequences that have yet to be explored fully. Many studies have found a link between generalized anxiety disorder and a number of serious health conditions including cancer, respiratory illness, thyroid disease, arthritis, and heart disease. Chronically anxious people may even be more likely to suffer a fatal heart attack.

If you suffer from what seems like an inappropriately high amount of anxiety relative to the situation, or if you feel anxious nearly every day, you may actually have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are chronic conditions characterized by a person's inability to function normally because of constant anxiety. Anxiety disorders are serious conditions that should be treated to lower the risk of long-term effects.

Anxiety treatment has long been the subject of much debate in the medical community. Some medical professionals believe that medication is the best way to treat chronic anxiety. Unfortunately, anti-anxiety medications often have serious side effects that are just as bad as or even worse than the initial condition.

There are many safe and natural ways to handle negative emotional responses. Exercise is one that is often overlooked by anxious people, but it is extremely effective in managing stress and anxiety. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which are natural mood-boosting and pain-killing chemicals. With regular aerobic exercise, you may begin to see a dramatic decrease in negative emotional responses to situations that would have previously made you extremely anxious.

The most effective way to deal with tension and worry is to control it from within. Stress relief and stress management techniques are extremely valuable tools in handling day to day stress. These techniques can teach you to calm yourself and relieve your tension. You make a conscious effort to slow your breathing rate, release the tension, and remain in a calm state of mind. Meditation is an excellent form of tension control in which you focus on mindful relaxation and deep, calming breathing.

However, if you seek a proactive method to free yourself of anxiety, hypnosis is the most effective treatment option. When an individual undergoes hypnotherapy, their emotional responses and reactions to events are changed at their core. This permits them to deal with typical anxiety-inducing triggers without the usual feelings of fear and nervousness.

Hypnosis is often performed by a licensed hypnotist in a series of regular treatments. More commonly today, hypnosis takes the form of self hypnosis programs which can be purchased in the form of MP3s, DVDs, or CDs for individual home usage. No special skills are needed to perform self hypnosis. All you need is a way to play the hypnosis program and a quiet place where you can relax and listen.

Another successful method of anxiety treatment is Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP. NLP is a type of therapy that helps you condition your body and mind to naturally respond to situations in a more positive manner. You can consciously decide to remain calm instead of feeling anxious, meaning that you always have control over your own emotions.

In summary, you can see that it is important to manage our negative emotional responses in order to remain healthy. Learning to deal with fear and nervousness can even extend your life. To treat chronic anxiety, the best treatment option to follow is to participate in hypnotherapy to change your attitudes and reactions at the core. Then, it becomes easy to use stress management techniques as needed to stay calm in everyday situations.

Many people use the words "stress" and "anxiety" interchangeably, but they are in fact two distinct conditions. For sufferers of long-term untreated anxiety, there may be negative health consequences that have yet to be explored fully. It is very important to control our negative emotional responses in order to keep healthy. Hypnotherapy and NLP have proven to be the modalities of choice, offering immediate relief without any of the negative and often dangerous side effects of drugs.

By: Alan B. Densky, CH

I moved into a new home a few weeks ago. Next week my mother, who is in her eighties, will be moving as well. Moving house is meant to be one of the top few causes of stress in modern day living. These days we move home far more frequently than our ancestors did. Perhaps this is why I found my last move to be pretty easy, and I have to say, not at all stressful.

My mother, on the other hand has been experiencing anxiety and stress ever since the decision was made to move. She is the type of person who worries about what might go wrong, and I often find myself observing that there is no point worrying about something that is in all likelihood not going to happen. Even when I took her on holiday earlier this year I did not tell her what was planned until a relatively short period of time beforehand - so that she had less time to worry. Once on holiday, of course, my mum had a great time; everything went well and the trip was entirely stress-free. The only stress experienced was before the holiday as a result of her own imagination.

Some of us tend to be more prone to experiencing anxiety and tension than others, and nearly all of us become more anxious as we get older. Things which in the past we would have found straight forward and simple become less easy to deal with. It can be difficult for a child to see ones parents becoming less able and less confident, but it is far more difficult for the parent who is frustrated by their inability to do that which they used to do.

My mum is moving into my home. It is a beautiful and comfortable home; everything is new and modern. Yet to someone who worries even this can be stressful. Because the carpet is new, mum worries about dropping something on it. Because the cooker is different, she worries about how to use it. Even the positioning of light switches has become a source of worry. The good news is that I know that once my mum has moved none of these worries will actually become a reality. She will have a warm and spacious home, in the centre of town, with family at close hand. She will still have her independence and I'm sure she will be comfortable and happy.

If you were to take age out of this equation and simply examine the effect of different attitudes, one can easily see the great and inexorable impact of one's own beliefs and expectations. I saw my move as great, and simply a matter of organization. In the week before the move boxes were packed as efficiently as possible, the removal firm came on the designated day and put everything into their van and delivered it into the new home. A little bit of unpacking and job done! Time for dinner and a glass of champagne to celebrate!

By contrast, my mother's move already seems to have been happening for weeks and endless weeks. I had planned to do it for her...but this was never going to happen. Every day something is examined, wrapped and either boxed or given away. More and more boxes pile up, more and more chaos reigns...More and more anxiety and stress is experienced. The expectation of it being stressful makes it stressful for my mother. Her own expectations that the move would be difficult are what make it increasingly more difficult.

Unfortunately my mother always does things her own way and she is not the best listener. I only wish that she was, as then we, her family, could help more. Ironically, in my profession as a hypnotherapist, I help people with stress all of the time. I know how to show someone how to relax with hypnosis, but only when I have a willing subject. The fact is that stress, anxiety and tension are caused by oneself; you think yourself into experiencing events or circumstances as stressful. If you are willing, anybody and everybody, no matter what age you are, can learn to relax and relieve stress and tension with a little help from hypnosis.

Hypnosis is a state of relaxation which also allows access to your subconscious mind, the part where deep rooted habits and beliefs are held. Thus hypnosis allows you to change even these deep rooted habits, beliefs and expectations. You can change instinctive tendencies with the help of hypnosis mp3s or hypnosis cds. You can learn to see that your glass is half full as opposed to half empty...so long as you are willing.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for relief of stress, tension and anxiety.

Moving house is listed as being very stressful and yet it doesn't have to be that difficult. There are ways in which you can relax and view your move in a more positive frame of mind, hypnosis being the key.

By: Roseanna Leaton

If you are familiar with the concept of “Inside Out Thinking,” then you already know that I don’t conceptualize stress as something that exists outside of you. It is actually something you create inside. Stress is a behavior you create to help you get something you want. The only way to reduce stress is to empower yourself to take control of what you can control—namely your actions and your thoughts. You may not believe you can control what you think but with patience, persistence and practice it is not only possible but critical to maintaining a positive state of mental health.

Because the holidays are often a stressful time of the year for many, I wanted to give you a dozen ideas for things you can do or think differently to help reduce your stress level.

1. Rational Thinking—often irrational thoughts contribute to your stress levels. What are irrational thoughts? Things like “everyone must like me for me to be worthwhile.” Or, “I have to complete everything on my ‘To Do’ list everyday in order to be a success.” Or, “I can’t let anyone in my house unless it is spotless.” Irrational thoughts are not true—that’s why they are called irrational. However, you can actually convince yourself these beliefs are true, and when you believe them your stress level can soar. For example, if I actually think the only way for me to be worthwhile is if every person I meet likes me, can you imagine the stress I will create for myself trying to get everyone to like me? Check your thinking and make sure your thoughts are rational. You may need to ask someone you trust to help you with this because if you actually believe the irrational thoughts, then you will have a difficult time recognizing they are irrational.

2. Inside Out Thinking—Instead of spending your time focused on things over which you have no control, look at the situation and choose the best response available to you. The only things you really have control over is what you do and what you think. You really can’t change others. Make sure you take a proactive approach to life’s situations by looking at what you can do or think differently to improve the situation. This also means no longer pointing the finger outside of you for the source of your problem or unhappiness. If you are in pain over something, then it is your responsibility to fix it the best you can.

3. Time Management—find a time management system that works for you and implement it. You have the same amount of time in a day as everyone else, yet some people are far more productive than others. They have discovered a way to maximize their moments to get the most out of each of them. There are many time management experts out there who have different systems. However, I think time management is similar to dieting. There is not a one size fits all approach. You need to find a system that works for you and follow it.

4. Fun Activities—make a list of things you love to do: pleasurable activities. When was the last time you engaged in them? Taking care of yourself and making sure you schedule some “me” time is essential to keeping stress at bay. Even though you may think you have no time for pleasure, taking that time will increase your productivity when you do get down to business.

5. Relaxation—do you meditate, visualize your “happy place,” get massage or do some deep muscle relaxation? This is a sure way to reduce stress. When you get good at meditation and relaxation, it is something you can do in a very short period of time almost anywhere. It’s a great skill to develop and it will substantially help you manage the stress in your life.

6. Exercise—there has been a lot of research that shows a regular exercise program can be helpful in managing the negative, physical symptoms of stress. This does not have to be any strenuous exercise. It could be as simple as going for a walk but physical activity provides a release of the stored energy of stress.

7. Healthy Living—there are some known links to substances that stress our bodies. If you reduce or eliminate these things from your lifestyle, you will reduce physical stress. Some things to look at are drugs, alcohol, nicotine, sugar and caffeine. If you use any of these substances on a moderate or higher level, you can be creating stress for yourself.

8. Sense of Humor—when you can find the humor in stressful situations, you can laugh your way through life. Laughing releases the body’s natural endorphins and will ward off potential stress before it even begins. It is most helpful when you can laugh at yourself and find humor in everyday situations.

9. Support System—having a healthy support system will help. You need to decrease the toxic people in your life and increase the nourishing ones. We all have those who will suck the life out of us if we let them and then there are others who will support us in our time of need. Look at reducing the former and expanding the latter.

10. Assertiveness—develop the ability to take care of your needs without interfering with others getting their needs met. Be able to say “no” when it will best support you. You can stress yourself out when you always put other people’s needs and desires ahead of your own.

11. Experience the Arts—there is something about the arts that will sooth many. It could be music, art, dance, or nature’s art but setting aside time to appreciate life’s beauty can act as an immunization against stress.

12. Spirituality—develop a personal sense of your spirituality. This does not necessarily have to be religion. It can be a calm, a peace, a sense of the order of life. When things get stressful, you can rely on your spirituality to help you through. You may develop beliefs about everything happening for a reason, the Higher Power will take care of things or there are always positive experiences with the negative. Spirituality can help you make sense of things that otherwise wouldn’t make sense.

Stress is not inevitable. You definitely do NOT have to be a victim of it. Know that you are choosing it. Know that you are getting something from it and then make a conscious decision about whether or not you want to continue on your same path or do something different.

If you are familiar with the concept of “Inside Out Thinking,” then you already know that I don’t conceptualize stress as something that exists outside of you. It is actually something you create inside. Stress is a behavior you create to help you get something you want. The only way to reduce stress is to empower yourself to take control of what you can control—namely your actions and your thoughts. You may not believe you can control what you think but with patience, persis...

by Kim Olver