Resolutions and goals are only useful if you're really ready for them. It doesn't make sense to arbitrarily decide something as your goal, and then to try to do it - that's how goals fail. You need to be prepared for them - mentally and emotionally.
I already know what my New Year's resolution is, and I am preparing myself mentally for success. I've been very successful following my resolutions if I set a date in the future to start them, and have a goal for when I know that it was successful. I could start earlier, but I'm not going to. Holidays, in their own way create stressors, and you are much more likely to make your resolutions or goals happen when you have less stress in your life.
A wise person in my life once told me that one should never make major goals and then try to follow them when you're stressed. If you have too many things on your plate, you are less likely to succeed, which adds more stress to you.
If you're setting a goal or resolution, in order to be successful you have to really want the outcome. Not just 'desire' the outcome, because 'desiring' an outcome isn't a fully focused effort. In order for it to be successful, a good goal has to be:
1. Practical
2. Reachable
3. Something you truly want, and can accomplish
4. Planned out, not arbitrary
I want to open a used book store one day. This is not my New Years Resolution by the way. :) I tried before to start it, but hadn't planned it out well enough. Another goal is to turn this blog into a 'Dear Abby' like blog, but again, this is not an overnight goal, but a long term goal.
I envision my future book store as a haven. It will be decorated with dragons, and will be a niche for people who love sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and horror. But... it takes money to open a business, and it takes knowledge of a specialized kind on how to manage a start-up business, neither of which I have right now, and may not have for many years. Maybe this will be my retirement goal, it's hard to say. 30 years? Hmmmm.
As for turning my blog into an advice column, that will take time and patience. There are very few people who read my blog right now, but I appreciate every one of you. The people who do read this are very loyal and very supportive people. They understand that my goal is not to preach, but to help. I was not able to stay in the world of nonprofit work, because people's pain hurt me so much. I've learned for myself, that although my heart wants to help, that I am still human, and that I can best help others by taking care of myself, and reaching out to people in ways like this, that have a natural distance, and where advice can be taken or not taken, and I will never know.
This blog is turning to be about me again, although I am trying to talk about resolutions and goals. When we are mentally and physically healthy, we all have dreams and something to aspire to. It is hard to have dreams or goals when we are not mentally or physically healthy. Someone with the flu for the example, is going to be much more concerned with where the nearest bathroom is, than anything else.
So, what this comes down to, is that timing is everything. Dream big, and create opportunities for yourself to shine. Create those opportunities with foresight and planning and, above all patience. Every goal can be reached--when you are ready to tackle it.
All best,
Rose
