This blog won't apply to everyone, but I believe it will apply to a lot of people.
I know I've read somewhere that the most suicides happen in the month of December. This kind of goes along with my last blog, but really Depression during the holidays is very common. The weather has changed, and we're entering the heart of the dark winter. Men are more likely to show their depression through extreme irritability or fits of anger, while women may become more withdrawn and sensitive. Put these two together, and oh boy!
There is beauty in this time though, and those who are prone to holiday Depression need to remember this. There is beauty in the lights, and the music. There is beauty in the quietness of snow and being alone in a holiday that is filled with images of togetherness.
It's easy to see what you don't have, but it's harder to see, sometimes, what you do have. Being a natural loner myself, I know how hard it can be to watch all the propaganda of happiness everywhere, when you are not yourself feeling the joy you're 'supposed to.' It's hard to fight against the 'supposed to's' and 'should's' but you should really try. There is a falseness about this holiday as there is about most holidays. But, you are not yourself false, you are very real. Your feelings are valid, and important--don't brush them away because of a 'supposed to.'
There are possibly millions of people hurting during the holiday season. Feeling pain because they can't afford the presents they want to buy for people, or feeling alone, either in the midst of people or separated by them. There are an untold number of reasons individuals can have difficulty with this season.
I believe that you should do your best to make this a month of things that are important to you. Sometimes you need to take extra care of yourself during times like these that bring out such strong emotions.
Don't worry about your weight right now, that can wait until New Year's. Become like a child again and eat sugar cookies shaped like Santa. Buy yourself a little present, and tuck it away until Christmas. When no one is watching make a snowball and throw it at something. Sing "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas" when alone in your car. Little things, quiet things, secret things that are uniquely you--these are what will get you through the holidays.
And don't forget to look for beauty. That still beauty, not the frenetic beauty being advertised. It's both out there, and inside you.
All best,
Rose
